Good Neighbors

Sorry I have been MIA this week.  I brought back the blog and then have not found the time to post anything, but what happened yesterday is definitely worth posting.

Let me give you a little bit of the back story....

Shane woke up Sunday morning and said his butt was itching.  He asked me to look at it because he thought he had a bug bite or something.  I know, he has no shame!  So anyway, I did what any good wife would do and pulled down the back of his shorts to check out what was causing this itching on his butt.  Sure enough, there was a big red bug bite in the middle of his right cheek. 

So yesterday...

Shane comes home from work and says, "I think this bug bite is getting worse.  My whole butt cheek hurts.  Can you please look at it again and see if it is getting any bigger?"  So again, here I am, I did what any good wife would do, and look at his ass AGAIN.  And yes, the bug bite was much bigger and it was hard.  I poured some hydrogen peroxide on it to see if any infection would come out, but nothing.  Shane was concerned.  He asked if I thought he should go to the doctor to get it looked at. 

And this is where it gets interesting..

I suggested that our neighbor come over and look at it.  I know what you are thinking, the NEIGHBOR??  Our neighbor is an OB nurse and she was actually my OB nurse.  So yes, I live next to someone who has seen my goods.  Weird huh?  Anyway, I figured if she looks at vaginas all day, a butt probably wasn't that big of a deal. 

So here I go.  I trek across the back yard and knock on her back door.  Her high school aged son lets me in as she is coming up the stairs.  I said, "Okay, I have the weirdest request, but could you come over and look at my husband's ass?"  She just chuckled as I explained to her the situation.  She is such a good sport.  She came over and Shane was laying on the bed, face down, with the back of his pants pulled down.  It was hilarious.  As she walked in, Shane said, "Well hi neighbor." and she replied with a chuckle"hello."  AWKWARD! 

She took a look at it and then told me that I needed to take a writing utensil and draw a circle around the infection that way I could check it in a few hours to make sure the infection wasn't spreading.  So, I did what any good wife would do, I got a Sharpie and drew a big black circle around the bug bite.  I would post the picture I took with my phone, but I don't think Shane would appreciate that.  It looked like a big nipple in the middle of his cheek.  HILARIOUS!